


Stage Fright

by Soulstarsinger (soulstar)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Challenge Response, Embarrassment, Gen, Nervousness, Post-Season/Series 02, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-08-18
Updated: 1999-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1944009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulstar/pseuds/Soulstarsinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giles is preparing to give a speech, and is getting a little nervous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stage Fright

**Author's Note:**

> Response to Ragna's challenge as below:  
> Pick your favourite BtVS male.  
> \- Couldn't think of anything for Spike, so you're getting Giles who's my 2nd fave  
> He has to get something that would embarrass him, be it for a dare or for a girlfriend or whatever.  
> \- Ooops, misread that. Thought it was that he had to get embarrassed. Oh well.  
> And include one of the quotes.  
> \- Managed to get them both in  
> And...set it in a fun (or funny) place.  
> \- Not exactly a fun or funny place as such. But somewhere that deserves to be laughed _at_.

Giles swallowed nervously as he paced up and down, muttering under his breath. He tugged at the collar of his dinner jacket, then fiddled with his bow tie. Then paced a bit more.

"I knew this was a bad idea." he grumbled to himself "Why did I let myself get roped into it? And why are they holding it in this ridiculous over-glorified tent?" Bit more pacing. "OK Rupert, get a grip. Breathe. Right, time to practice."

He took a set of cards from his jacket pocket, glanced through them and took a deep breath. It was only a speech. And he was only one of the guests of honour in the "Where Are They Now" section of Oxford Uni's Millennium celebrations. Which for some reason was being held in the Millennium Dome instead of in Oxford. Another deep breath.

"It doesn't seem so long ago that I was a student myself, and not a lot has changed. As Billy Corgan of The Smashing Pumpkins said: 'We kid ourselves into thinking, "Ha, ha, ha, the Seventies will never happen again." But I look around and everyone's doing cocaine and listening to techno while they're drinking their cappuccinos -- what's the difference here?"' OhGodOhGodOhGod. He was going to sound like a complete pillock. _And_ Buffy and Willow had insisted on coming with him to England to "lend moral support". He suspected it was really more to do with shopping and sightseeing, but nonetheless, they were now going to witness his total humiliation. Wonderful.

He tried pacing a bit more. Not helping. Fifteen minutes til he had to go out on the platform. He needed a drink of water. No, he needed something a lot stronger. Someone was making a rousing speech about new beginnings. There was a smattering of applause. Maybe not as rousing as it was meant to be then. A thick curtain separated the platform from the backstage area where Giles was pacing. He wondered if there were many people out there. So he peered round the edge of the curtain. Bad mistake.

The speech cards fell to the floor as he stumbled backwards, his gut churning. He could face vicious demons, torture, and a crossbow bolt in his side.... but not the sea of faces that was past that curtain. His stomach lurched again. He had to find a bathroom - fast. Looking wildly around, he spotted a small discreet "WC" beside an arrow on the wall. He ran in that direction.

He halted below a large sign hanging from the ceiling that proclaimed "Toilets". On his right were two doors. Both with large cartoon characters printed on them, and nothing else. He stared from one to the other. They looked like they were from that South Park thing that Buffy liked. But which was male and which was female? He couldn't tell, and his panicked brain was refusing to focus on anything but the crowd that he had to face. _Ahhh... left for ladies_ he decided, and went for the right hand door. And stopped abruptly as he got an eyeful of Willow and Buffy. Surrounded by carrier bags, wearing nothing but their underwear.

"Uh....." They stared at each other in shock for a long moment. Giles felt his face grow redder and redder. Then both girls gave a shriek of outrage and grabbed for something to cover themselves. "I-I-I.... Bu-... Wil.. errr..." he began to back towards the door "It was an honest mistake! Well, maybe not honest, but it was a mistake! My own stupidity, really... or-or... lack of knowledge of..."

"Giles!" he stopped babbling and looked warily at Buffy "Get out!"

"R-right."

He fled. After that, the speech would be nothing.

END


End file.
